As a trauma therapist, I have heard many horrific stories. I have heard stories of people who have been through some pretty heinous situations at the hands of people who were supposed to love them, protect them, and care for them. The betrayal is so insurmountable that it feels like they cannot overcome it. Betrayal breeds fear and people begin to operate out of that fear rather than courage. The fear leads to anxiety, then extreme anxiety, then depression. They begin to feel hopeless and start to put up walls for protection, they walk around not allowing people to get too close. They say, “How can I possibly see anything positive when I have experienced such horrific things?” or “Positivity is not in the cards for me, you don’t know what I have been through. I need to be realistic.”
Can I tell you; I understand why you feel that way. It feels safe to hold onto those contracts you made with yourself long ago. It feels safer to keep people out, so you never have to experience betrayal like that again. What if I told you that you can live your best life. You can live your life on purpose in a positive way despite your journey. Those horrible things that happen to you are horrible. I am not saying you think about them with happiness. Acknowledge it was wrong. Validate the injustice. But it doesn’t have to impact you anymore. You can heal from it. You can be free from the negative emotions surrounding it.
There is Hope!
What if I told you that you could take the things you have been through, as horrific as they are, you can take them and use them as an opportunity?
Studies have been conducted that prove changing your mindset can elevate your mood. ***See the references below for the studies conducted. ***
You do this by first changing your body posture. Negative emotions are shown through depressed posture, slower speech, shallow breathing, head down, and shoulders slumped. You can consider any negative emotions you have and notice what negative posture you have. Change it to the posture of the antidote. Are you depressed? What does that look like? Do you want to be happy instead? What does that look like? Change your depressed posture to your happy posture.
Next, practice the antidote emotion. What does it look like to be happy? What makes you happy? Do those things. Do you enjoy comedy? Watch a comedian on YouTube. Do babies make you smile? Watch a video of babies laughing. Go for a walk, spend time with your people. Do something you enjoy. Try a new hobby. Do you need courage? What posture does a courageous person have? Do you think of wonder woman or superman? What is their stance? Practice it. What are some obstacles you have overcome in your past? How did that make you feel? What are your accomplishments? What did that feel like? What thoughts did you have?
Lastly, regardless of how horrific your situation is, consider the opportunities in it. Can you use your story to support someone else? Can you use the situation to grow or teach others about a tough topic? What is your opportunity?
Once you have done these things, write down any negative thoughts you are still having and write out their antidote. What does it look like to change those thoughts? What is a more helpful way of looking at things? Changing your thoughts about it will lead you to being able to think more positively. Which will help alleviate your anxiety.
It can be frustrating at first, but the more you practice the more you will see how the power of positivity will help your anxiety.
If you enjoyed this post share it! If you have any questions comment on it! I would love to hear your thoughts!
References:
Ismail, J. (2023). Mind Over Matter: The Impact of Positive Thinking on Health Outcomes. Journal of Community Health Provision. 27(3). DOI: 10.55885/jchp.v3i1.212.
Ohio State University. (2009). "Body Posture Affects Confidence In Your Own Thoughts, Study Finds." ScienceDaily. Retrieved from: <www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/10/091005111627.htm>.
Santos V, Paes F, Pereira V, Arias-Carrión O, Silva AC, Carta MG, Nardi AE, Machado S. (2023). The role of positive emotion and contributions of positive psychology in depression treatment: systematic review. Clin Pract Epidemiol Ment Health. (9)221-37. doi: 10.2174/1745017901309010221.
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