Talking to Your Kids About Divorce: How to Reassure Them Through Change

Divorce is hard on everyone, but for children—especially young ones—it can feel confusing and even frightening. Many kids assume the divorce is their fault or worry that one or both parents don’t love them anymore. That’s why it’s so important to check in with your kids often and give them honest, age-appropriate reassurance.

Your children don’t need to know every detail of what happened between you and your spouse. If there was infidelity, betrayal, or other painful issues, those are adult problems—not burdens for your children to carry. What they do need to hear is clear, simple, and consistent:

• “This is a problem between Mom and Dad, not because of anything you did.”

• “We both love you very much.”

• “Even though we aren’t living together, we are both still your parents and will always be here for you.”

Honoring both parents in your words helps your children feel safe and loved. Checking in regularly gives them space to share their feelings and ask questions. Above all, reminding them that they are not to blame—and that they are deeply loved—provides the stability and reassurance they need to heal and adjust.

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